leaving

Hello. :) I am attempting to force myself to complete this crazy, amazing, mad, thrilling project this month. I figured when better than NaNoWriMo? I'm getting closer every day, and I can feel it. Thanks for hanging in there.

This next bit comes right after the last. It's a tad sentimental, but there's some action coming up. Be patient. :) Haylee, Peter, Marc, and Dakota decide that they should begin their search for the others. But first, they should probably get out of the house, since Haden has promised to come back for them. But, while Peter and Haylee are in the other room, Marc makes a confession.

“What is it about me?” Marc said. I was unsure for a moment whether or not he was talking to himself. “What is it about me that makes me perfectly incapable of protecting the things that are mine?” He laughed, but the sound was empty, his face blank. “My mother. My father. You. I can love them as much as I want, watch over them. But they slip through my fingers when I turn away for just a second. Looking out the car window. Investigating a sound in the street. Stepping into the shower. I have to look away eventually, to blink. But that's enough time to ruin everything.” The air was heavy. I didn't know what to say. Was everything ruined?
“Marc,” I whispered.
“Haden will know. He'll know about Peter, about you healing him. He'll put the pieces together.” Marc turned his tortured blue gaze on me. “He'll know that you're the only one who can't be healed. I would run as fast as I could, Dakota. But it wouldn't be enough. There wouldn't be anyone waiting on the other side to bring you back. I'd lose you.” He closed his eyes for a long time. “So he'll come for you last. Not Peter this time. Not any of the others. He'll take them, of course. To have them out of the way. But he'll wait for you. Because he knows I will follow, and this time it wouldn't matter. The exchange isn't my life, after all. It's yours. Because it's the same thing.”
I crossed the room and knelt in front of him. I took his hands in mine but he pulled them away, his eyes shut tightly. There had to be something I could say, some way to comfort him. But he was right. That was the bottom line. He was absolutely right. I was the only one that I couldn't heal. If Haden took me, I'd stay there forever. Even if Marc could bring my body back through the river, it wouldn't matter. Haden would win. But if that was inevitable, if my death was the final motion, maybe I had a little time. Maybe I could save the rest of them before it was too late for me.
“Eventually,” Marc whispered, his eyes closed. “Eventually, I'll have to blink, Dakota. And you'll be gone.”
“We can stop him, Marc,” I said. The voices had told me that it was possible to beat him. There was a way, even if it would be hard.
“I don't see how,” Marc whispered. “He didn't even kill Peter. He just locked him up in plain sight, right where I could find him. He knew that I'd follow. He knew that the only way out was through the river. He made me take him that way. He made me kill him myself. I can't bring anyone through that river alive, I can barely bring myself...” Marc was staring out at nothing.
“Then we'll fight him above ground,” I said. “We'll get to the others first, bring them back to the mountain. It's safe. I don't know why, but it is. We'll buy some time. We'll wait. We'll have a plan.”
“Then I'll find them myself,” Marc said. “I'll bring them back and you stay here at the mountain. You'll be safe without me.”
“I go where you go,” I repeated.
“You can't stay with me, Dakota!” he shouted. The air seemed to split apart. He meant more than he was saying, I could tell as his eyes rimmed with tears. What did he mean?
“I...” I couldn't find any words. He closed his eyes.
“It's better that way,” he breathed. “You'll be so much safer without me. Happier. I can't protect you. It isn't fair to drag you down with me. I won't hurt you.”
“You are hurting me,” I whispered. I wasn't sure he heard.
“You'll be alright. You don't need me. There are more of us out there, you'll have company. Maybe Peter-”
“What?!” I nearly shouted. Marc didn't meet my outraged glare.
“He can keep you safe,” Marc said. His voice was barely a whisper as he stared out into the night. “You'd be happier with him.”
“You're insane,” I growled. It was one thing to leave me, I had expected that. It was another thing to pair me. To hand me off. Did he think I could possibly feel about anyone else the way I felt about him?
“I know you can't picture it now.” He didn't look like he wanted to picture it either. “But you'll fit with him.”
“Impossible,” I whispered.
“It isn't. I dreamed it.” Marc had an empty sort of smile. “The way it's supposed to be.”
“You're wrong. I can't believe you're saying this.”
“It will be easy, to fall into his arms.” He swallowed hard
“No,” I whispered. I wasn't sure what I was protesting to. He looked at me, his face tortured. I climbed to my feet.
“Dakota,” he said. I shook my head.
“I understand.” It was my turn to close my eyes. “I don't blame you.”
“Dakota, please.” He got to his feet too.
“You don't want me.” The words were hard, but not impossible. I had said them many times. Marc choked on the heavy air around us. “But the rest isn't up to you. You can leave me, that's your choice. But there are other people involved. You don't get to decide for all of us. They deserve a say.”
I turned my back on Marc. This action was almost harder than anything else that had passed in the last hours. I made my way toward the bedroom, each step forward taking careful thought and concentration. I could feel sobs pushing up against my chest. But not yet. There would time soon enough to mourn. I had business first.
“Where are you going?” Marc choked from behind me. I didn't turn.
“To wake the others.”

So, she explains to the others that Marc wants her to stay behind. Peter and Haylee obviously protest. They agree to stay together to seek out others, though Marc isn't happy about it. Dakota, devastated, tries to have a moment to herself but overhears a whispered conversation.

I spun toward the bathroom. Please let me make it before the tears came. I passed through the doorway and shut the door behind me. I pressed my hand to my mouth to stifle the sobs. That was the last thing I wanted now, for everyone to hear my rejected tears. I sat heavily on the floor. I couldn't control it, I couldn't concentrate enough to block them out. Haylee breathing in the kitchen. Marc and Peter facing each other in the living room. Everything was confused. Hurt. Troubled. Angry. Peter walked toward Marc, stopping in front of him.
“What are you doing?” Peter demanded.
“I have to keep her safe,” Marc was almost silent. Peter grabbed the collar of Marc's shirt, pushing him roughly into the wall.
“You saved my life. I can't ask any more of you. But let me make myself clear. If you hurt Dakota, I will hurt you. I won't like it. I won't enjoy myself. But I will hurt you.”
“I'm hurt enough,” Marc whispered. Peter walked away.
A soft knock came on the door. I tried to take a breath to tell them to go away, but I couldn't. I was just quiet instead. “Dakota, I'm coming in,” Peter called. The knob turned and the door cracked open. Of course I hadn't locked it. This day could probably not get any worse. I took the thought back as soon as it came into my mind. My life never ceased to surprise me. It could always get worse. Peter sat down in front of me, tucking my hair behind my ear. I wiped my face with the back of my hand.
“How you doing, kid?” he asked. I almost laughed.
“Fine,” I said.
“How are you really doing?” His face was filled with concern. I bit back a sob.
“I feel like I might die,” I whispered.
“I wouldn't recommend it,” Peter smiled sadly. He pulled me against his chest.
“What was it like?” I mumbled into his shirt.
“To die?” he asked. I nodded. He was quiet for a minute, rubbing my back. “It was easy,” he shrugged. He lifted my face. “This shit's harder,” he said. I laughed between tears. “It's going to be alright. Do you know that?”
“I don't see how,” I whispered.
“Trust me.” He hugged me tightly and pulled me to my feet.