Friday, July 25, 2008

dreams of Dakota

this scene comes after the group decides to go searching for the blonde boy. Peter grumbles quite a bit but is ultimately unable to sway Haylee's determination. they pack up and hit the road. the city is devastated and it takes several hours for them to crawl through the ruins. it is as they are driving that this scene begins. enjoy!

It took nearly an hour to reach the highway, but once we arrived we moved more quickly through the wide, abandoned lanes. After what felt like a very long time, I saw the outline of a tall water tower in the distance to the right. "There," I whispered, pointing Peter in the right direction. At the next exit, he put his turn signal on out of habit and I nearly laughed aloud at the simplicity of it.
Suddenly, he slammed on the breaks. "Shit!" he shouted into the rearview mirror before pounding his foot against the accelerator again, sending the car squealing down the exit ramp. Haylee and I turned our heads sharply to stare out the back window. A hundred yards behind us, the figure of a woman stood in the street watching with blank red eyes as our car sped away. As we rounded the corner at the end of the ramp, she began to sprint after us. "No, no, no," Peter chanted desperately as the car flew down the narrow road. I tore my eyes away to glance up front again and saw another street curve off to the left ahead of us. I could just make out the top of a yellow house with white shutters in the distance. "That's it!" I cried to Peter, he ground the gas pedal to the floor and raced toward the curve. I whipped my head behind us again. Unbelievably, the woman was standing just a few feet from the back of the car, easily keeping pace with our deadly speed. She seemed to smile as she quickly closed the gap. Haylee started screaming as the woman reached one long arm out and dug her nails into the trunk. A deafening screeching echoed in the air as her nails left deep gashes in the paint. I slid across the seat as Peter raced around the curve. He had only gone a few yards before Haylee shouted, "Stop! STOP!" He braked and we all turned to face the back window. The woman was still on the main road where the curve began, pacing back and forth across the cement, staring at the car. "She can't come any closer," Peter whispered in awe. We watched her for another long moment, breathing hard, and then she turned back toward the highway and disappeared. We waited for nearly ten minutes, the silence pressing painfully against our ears, our eyes darting in all directions for any hint of movement. "Come on," Haylee said quietly, turning to face the front, "we're almost there."
We drove slowly down the long road toward the yellow house that stood alone at the end. As we drew nearer we could make out a figure kneeling at the foot of a mound of fresh dirt, his blonde hair reflecting the light of the sinking sun. We climbed out of the car and walked slowly across the yard toward him. As we reached the front porch, Peter hung back. Haylee looked at him with questioning eyes. "Maybe I'd better wait here," he whispered in answer, "in case I turn him into ice or something." Haylee rolled her eyes but the two of us continued forward, waiting for the boy to turn and notice us.
We stopped a few feet behind him. After another moment of silence, Haylee coughed quietly. He jumped into the air and spun toward us, scrambling away across the dirt. He stared at me with surprise thick in his wide, blue eyes. We stood frozen this way for a long time; my hands trembling and my heart pounding in my throat, his fists pushed into the dirt and his sharp jaw clenching. This close, he didn't look so boyish anymore. The wires of his muscles trembled under his tan skin and I noticed that he had deep lines of worry etched into his forehead. I was overcome once more with the sting of borrowed grief as we continued to stare at one another over the edge of his father's grave.
He slowly climbed to his feet. He took several deep breaths and strode forward, closing the space between us and coming to stand directly in front of me. "Dakota," he whispered, his eyes burning into mine. A chill shivered down my spine and without thinking, I raised my trembling hand and laid it against his cheek. He closed his eyes at my touch and lifted his hand to cover mine. His skin was rough and warm against the back of my hand. With his eyes still closed, he almost smiled. "Dakota," he whispered again, "you are just like I dreamed."
* * *
The four of us stared awkwardly at each other in the little sitting room, surrounded by faded flower patterns and tiny china figurines. Peter and Haylee sat on the couch staring at our new blonde addition, Haylee with pure mothering sympathy in her eyes, Peter with one eyebrow raised in cold curiosity. The boy stared intently at me, rubbing the heel of his hand roughly against the blonde stubble that shadowed his jaw. He leaned against a doorframe that led into a bright kitchen and I stood at an armchair near the door. After several minutes, Peter spoke in a hard voice.
"Why don't you have anything boarded up against those things out there?" The boy was startled out of his concentration and dropped his eyes to the floor.
"They don't come near me," he replied with a shrug. More silence followed.
"So, why were you trying to off yourself, anyway?" Peter asked. Haylee gasped and smacked her brother hard in the back of his head. The blonde stared at him with wide eyes for a moment before dropping his gaze to the floor again, the tips of his ears red.
"I didn't know you were coming," he whispered, shooting a brief glance at me, "I thought... I thought it was just me."
"Like I Am Legend?" Peter asked seriously. I suppressed the urge to laugh. Surprisingly, the blonde boy did. His chuckle was low and hard, it sounded like sandpaper grating against wood.
"Except I don't even have a dog," he said with a grim smile.
"Can you do any freaky stuff, like with your mind?" Peter asked in a rush.
"Alright, alright, that's enough questions for now," Haylee said, standing from the couch, "I think we should all try and get some rest."
"I'll help you carry your bags to the bedrooms," the boy said and moved toward the backpacks at the front door. He had only taken a few steps when Haylee rushed over to him and wrapped her thin arms around his neck. He froze for a moment, startled, and then patted her back with a tiny, hard smile on his face. She took his face in her hands and stared into his eyes for a long time. Finally, she kissed his forehead and whispered into his ear. It was too low for me to hear, but when she pulled away he rubbed the back of his hand under his eyes quickly. Haylee grabbed a bag and headed up the stairs. Peter stood from the couch and the two men stared at each other for a long moment. For one fleeting second, I thought that Peter might hit him.
"What's your name, kid?" Peter asked.
"I'm Marc," the blonde said. After a minute, Peter squeezed the boy's shoulder, nodded once, and carried the other bags upstairs.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness! I started freaking out when crazy red eyes here crushed part of the car.
And I really loved the bit in the last section where Marc's knife disappeared.
I really like this story so far.

Anonymous said...

The encounter with red eyes is definitely well done. I could envision it really clearly and it was perfectly paced for maximum suspense. EEE!!
I have a couple questions about this part. Firstly, if I were Peter, I would still be confused about my "powers." I think that just from being able to spiral water out of a glass, I would not yet know that my power was not simply just, for example, telekinesis. Maybe you could change that line to reflect more uncertainty? Also, if there is no evidence yet that Dakota or Haylee can do these things, I am not sure I am convinced that Peter would ask him if he has powers, too. I think they would be focusing on why they are all dreaming about each other and apparently connected. We readers are still uncertain about what's going on, and I think they would be asking each other more questions, yet still be haunted by their familiarity with each other.
Also, is there an age discrepancy between Marc and Peter? Marc seems older somehow, but Peter calls him "kid." I have trouble with the "kid" part, because I don't know that a man would really say that to another man. Although I think I have heard this guy I know named Eric J. say it a couple times.
I am so curious about why the red eyes couldn't follow them. Can they only run in a straight line??
More more!

Tim Abel said...

The pacing is amazing in this passage. You know how to balance frenetic action with calming dialogue. The sense of humor is great in your characters' voices. There is something very real in the way we are entering into this word that you are creating. I like the moments of clarity given in the details of things, be it frightening red-eyed crazies or fading wallpaper.